Winter Holiday Poem, by Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale

Each year, this time we gather round in darkness to behold

The miracle of PEACE we find within when it grows cold.

Each culture has a special way of celebrating this

Of kindling in our weary hearts a flame of joy and bliss.

And so, come stories, songs and lights to make us all draw near

As UU’s, we can find in each some teachings we can cheer

For Jewish folk, the story goes, when things were looking bleak

A tiny flame illuminated hope, for past a week

Years of struggle and of loss, had made them feel alone

But through that flame a lasting faith was recognized and sown

And folks for whom each season is a gift so rare

Solstice is a time to think of all for whom we care

To find within the earth and sky an inspiration pure

To trust the seasons and reflect on kinship deep and sure

And Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, God’s own son

The Prince of Peace, here to teach us that we all are one.

To teach us that from humble birth great glory can arise

To lift the spirit, shakes things up, illuminate the skies.

And so, we see within this month of special holidays

A chance to lift our spirits and diversity to praise.

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Chaos Theory & Peace Reality

(An excerpt of the 12/02/12 sermon delivered at the UU Church of Santa Clarita)

December can be tough for many of us:  highlighting the chaos around us as well as the disorder within.  Highlighting the discordance between what we’re told we should be wanting and buying and what’s actually in the bank account.  Highlighting the geographical or emotional fragmentation of families. As well as the chaos and violence, the poverty, that at this very moment is shattering lives (as it has done for millennia).

December is the Season of Peace!  And yet one of the things it draws attention to (at least for some of us, at least on some level) is a very real lack of peace.  The place within us, within our homes, within our cities and nations where peace is “NOT”.

Where, instead, chaos swirls around blinding our vision, making it nigh-unto-impossible to connect viscerally with joy and love, with generosity and hope…nigh unto impossible to nurture the presence of and critical relationship between peace in our hearts and peace in the world.

So today, in service of PEACE as an ideal, as a goal, as an imperative, in this season and in every season of our lives (in ourselves and in the world) I feel called to first take a closer look at CHAOS – knowing full well that the study of peace can take a lifetime, and that there are many layers of theory on how to create it or to enforce it between nations.  That subject will have to be saved for another day. First things first.  A focus on Peace in the heart, by way of Chaos Theory.

 

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Thank You!

“Thank you” is often the very first phrase we are taught that does not have to do with what we want or need!  Those two words affirm an awareness of the fact that there is an “other” –  a relationship through which we benefit. They signal an appreciation of our interdependence and strengthen the bonds that unite us (especially when offered freely and sincerely).

Learning how to receive someone’s thanks can be challenging, but just as moving an experience.  It can draw attention to the big and small ways that we impact one another.  The learned ritual of gratitude expressed and received points to fundamental truths of which we all need to be reminded.  As such, “thank you” should be considered  a sacred act of communion!  Along those lines, thirteenth century Christian mystic, Meister Ekhardt, wrote that if the only prayer you ever said in your whole life was “thank you” – that would suffice.

The religious belief that thanks should be prayed to God is a common one.  But it’s also one that can be troubling for those who question or deny the existence of a Creator.  So how might one connect with and and express gratitude for life’s goodness (when it can’t be attributed to a particular person we can thank) in a way that doesn’t compromise religious integrity?

Clearly our joy can be beautifully expressed through spoken words, written words or those that are sung.  Some of the worlds most poignant poetry and music were inspired by gratitude.  Connecting with gratitude daily at meal-times can be a powerful reminder of all the unseen forces by which we are nurtured and sustained.  Gratitude can also be expressed through generous acts of kindness and compassion;  by serving as an ally to those (human and non-human) who might otherwise feel very alone.

As we move into Autumn, celebrating Thanksgiving through focus on the ways we are enriched by family and community, I encourage you to consider the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee’s Guest at Your Table program and one of the the Hurricane Sandy Relief Funds an ideal way to signal your appreciation for the fundamental truth of interdependence.

In Awe & Gratitude,  Rev. Stefanie

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Chutzpah & Humility: The Next Four Years

(This homily was shared 11/07/12 at the San Fernando Valley Cluster Vespers Service, the day after the Presidential election.  It was inspired by Parker Palmer’s book:  Healing the Heart of Democracy)

At the end of each church year I ask the members and friends of the congregation I’m serving:  to dig deep.  To search the nooks and crannies of the year, of their own experiences and of church life; to coax out any and all “lingering questions” they might have (knowing full well there are always questions).

Without fail, each year, there are questions about the definition and theoretical OR practical significance to UUs, of:  ritual, prayer, God; pledges, covenants and Sunday morning announcements.  (All of which I anticipated when I started this tradition.)

The question that most takes me by surprise, the question that is generally so loaded with intensity and pain that it inspires nervous laughter among those gathered is:   “is the Democratic Party the de-facto party of Unitarian Universalism?” 

To which my response is, each year, a version of the following:

Unitarian Universalism insists upon a link between responsibility for the common good, and the freedom to reason one’s way through moral, political, social dilemmas and goals.

A great many Unitarian Universalists making that connection do align themselves with the Democratic Party (vocally, visibly and as a majority).  Motivated by their love for this country, informed and empowered by their UU values and a growing network of Unitarian Universalist legislative activists, they feel themselves, viscerally, part of that stream of history that worked to abolish slavery; that gave women the right to vote; that marched in Selma; protested bloodshed in Vietnam and Afghanistan, and economic disparities everywhere.

But it is a mistake to think (and this is something I need to remind myself of periodically) that Unitarian Universalist values can lead to only one approach to this country’s many complex problems.   Believe it or not, Unitarian Universalist values coupled with love for this country can lead to conservative political perspectives.

Disturbing to me is that those who hold such perspectives are often silent at church.  At certain times of the year they are altogether absent;  feeling, I have been told, alienated; vacillating between deep sadness and anger at the “hypocrisy” of it all.  The hypocrisy of “covenanted religious community” claiming to value diversity and yet expecting, encouraging, tolerating, and at times even celebrating only one value-driven political perspective. 

Or worse still:  expecting, encouraging, tolerating, and at times even celebrating SILENCE.    The silence of conflict-avoidance.  The silence of fears and hopes withheld all around (left, right, center).  All in the name of keeping the peace; in the name of friendliness;  when it comes down to it, in the name of spiritual identity hidden, distinct and detached from the world, and therefore impotent.

Reflecting on all of this and on the words of Parker Palmer, who wrote a book called “Healing the Heart of Democracy” (which I highly recommend) – there are two issues I want to speak to here, briefly.   First, the fact that Diversity is hard.  Let’s just name it.  It is so much easier, so much less “stressful”, to engage with those who are “like minded”. Or, to offer to “pray” (as Mitt Romney did in his concession speech) for those who think differently (generously putting President Obama on the receiving end).

But diversity is essential.  Not only within our Unitarian Universalist communities – given what we proclaim to affirm and promote about the nature of reality.  But also in order to keep alive and vibrant the “grand experiment” of democracy.  Which can very well be predicted to collapse if we don’t keep working actively at identifying and utilizing the creative potential inherent in diverse perspectives.

Related to this is the fact that the separation of church and state is confusing and confounding to many.  It is a fine line to walk.   As a minister, responding to my moral compass and bound by federal tax law in what I say publicly – I struggle with it constantly.   Clearly our forefathers knew the danger of having a country governed by religious institutions.  But that does not mean that religious VALUES can’t or shouldn’t influence an individual’s political identity or engagement on behalf of a more just society.  Ideally, religious values are made visible in EVERY aspect of one’s identity.

And, ideally, the liberal religious community is the place where we “practice” opening our hearts and minds to one another’s ideas about HOW to do that.  Ideally it is where we learn how to face fear and heal the wounds symptomized by silence; offering to one another, unconditionally,  holy curiosity and sacramental honesty.

Otherwise, what’s the point of calling it religious community?

So, the election is now over.  And I have to say it was an exhausting, fractious process – which will hopefully now allow us all to refocus our energies and funds;  to unify as a nation, as best we can, around the common goals of “we the people”.  Among them I recognize safety, stability, opportunity, and the pursuit of happiness.  

We are going to continue to have different ideas about how to reach those goals.  And according to Parker Palmer, if we are going to be the kind of citizens democracy demands, that’s going to require of us all a certain amount of chutzpah and humility.  Chutzpah, meaning gumptionthe insistence, the conviction, that your “voice needs to be heard”.  And that you have “the right to speak it.”  And humility:  the acceptance of the fact that your “truth is always partial, and may not be true at all.”  And, benefits greatly from the perspectives of others.

Both of these, chutzpah and humility, were exhibited in President Obama’s speech last night – particularly when he offered to actually sit down with Mitt Romney; to listen to his defeated opponent’s ideas!   That was paradigm busting leadership, if ever there was any to behold.

So, is the democratic party the de-facto party of Unitarian Universalism?

It may look like that.  But it’s not.  It can’t ever be.   And, if democracy as a “process” is to survive and thrive we need to open our hearts to that fact; to develop (as Parker writes) an appreciation of the value of “otherness” alongside an appreciation of our own “personal voice and agency”.

We need to “cultivate the ability to hold the tension” of differences in “life-giving ways”, remembering that we “are all in this together”.

“We the People” is all of us!  Not just those who speak up most easily, or are heard most often or who “win”.   But also those who may need to be coaxed out of silence, and into empowered and engaged citizenship – wherever they may be on the political spectrum.

So may it be, for the next four years, and beyond.  Let that noble work begin.

 

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In the Aftermath

As we move through our day in comfort and safety let us remember that these are not to be taken for granted. 

Let us remember that we as living, breathing beings – so intent to live as if we were subject only to our will and efforts – are part of the natural physical world: a wheel of life both terrible and beautiful, creative and destructive. 

Let us hold a moment of silence in honor of its totality.  And, in care, compassion and concern, for those whose experience this week (directly or indirectly) was of the terrible and destructive force of nature.
May those who have lost “that which was stored up”, whether goods or hope, be accompanied by our generosity and good will.  May each find a safe resting place for body and spirit and come to claim again the beauty that is life, despite its storms.

So may it be. So may we live.

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Book Discussion

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In the Beginning Was the Word

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” And in the land of Caanan the Word grew into language, spoken as a bond between people. Carved into bone and papyrus, into clay, onto animal hide, and later onto paper, the Word gave shape to human hopes and fears, to knowledge and wisdom, passed on through generations. The Word grew in human imagination, weaving its way through prophecies and commandments, poetry and politics. Enshrined in the Torah, enhanced by the Talmud and Mishna, it inspired, enlightened and instructed far beyond Caanan, becoming a living presence among the people.

(Poem by Stefanie Etzbach-Dale, adapted from the writings of Inge Etzbch)

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Spirituality: Humility, Curiosity & Grief

“To know the rapture of life” is how Parker Palmer describes the spiritual Quest. It’s lovely. But I always stumble across the word “know” – because it tends leads us to the brain, rather than to the embodied heart and mind.

I have spent years making lists of all the big and small wonders of life, growing my awareness and gratitude – yet wondering why I still wasn’t feeling all that rapturous.

It is only when I can manage to put that collection of words (and expectations) aside that I come to KNOW anything at all. That kind of “knowing” seeds what I can only describe, at this point, as “rapturous HUMILITY” – unfurling into enlivened curiosity. AND (to my surprise) grief.

Why grief? Because of all that I cannot even begin to fathom: including how to nurture and not lose that curiosity in the face of so much despair. How to convey it and spark it in others. How to truly honor the gift of life so complex, precious and tenuous.

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Taptenwechsel

There’s a lot to be said for what my mom used to call “Tapetenwechsel” – a change of scenery (in German, literally, a change of wallpaper). Stepping out of familiar environments now and then certainly challenges me to look at my life more objectively and to value its place within a larger context. That’s what this summer did for me. It allowed me to meet myself through new ideas and practices, new friendships and time for reflection, and to put all of that into perspective.

One of the things I “bring back home” from this experience is a renewed commitment to better nurture the connections between my mind, body, and spirit – and to more proactively encourage others to do likewise. Another, as we enter a third year of shared ministry, is a renewed commitment to my call to integrity, and to my religious community as part of a much larger whole. That connection implies responsibility, but it also points to enriching resources and opportunities I will be embracing, as well as asking my congregation to engage with this year.

So, what’s that going to look like? In addition to continuing to focus on UUofSCV Worship Life, Spiritual Care, and those areas Leadership determines as goals for the year, some may notice that I will
o be seated by 10:25 on Sundays, as a way to center myself before the worship service begins (connecting mind, body and spirit)
o begin coordinating a trained Pastoral Care Team responsive to members in need
o encourage stronger cultural/religious literacy and relationships within and beyond this congregation
o renew and deepen my congregation’s Intergenerational health and Welcoming Congregation status
o highlight, with greater urgency, the inextricable connections between Unitarian Universalist values and the application of courageous generosity (aka LOVE) in the wider world, with a call to get involved in deeper ways.

In support of these personal and professional goals, I have decided to take advantage of a new coaching program through the UUMA and registered for a number of spiritual enrichment and continuing education programs; increased my number of hours at the gym; and let folks know what I’m up to.

As this country moves towards a critical presidential election, as human rights continue to be threatened and violated the world over, as eco-systems shatter and the impulse to withdraw into whatever feels most safe and familiar rises, I’m reminding myself and asking others to resist that urge.

Know that your life takes place within a much larger context, and that Unitarian Universalism, as a diverse, free-thinking religious community, is here to help you figure out what YOU can “bring home” to the world.

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Justice GA 2012, Phoenix, AZ

As I sit down to write, Unitarian Universalists from all over the country (and world) converge on Phoenix, Arizona. Around the convention center the air is filled with shrieks of recognition as old friends, acquaintances and colleagues reunite; the murmur of urgent and/or earnest sharing of news; and the rustling of paper, as the pages of program guides are turned in anticipatory frenzy. It’s quite the scene!

Having three days of programming behind me already, I’m happy for the opportunity to sit back and “digest” for a moment – reflecting on some highlights:

– a renewed connection with my long-standing conviction that “spiritual identity” must drive us to serve the larger whole, and that such activism is intricately connected with our own healing
– the thrill of worshipping with hundreds of UU ministers and a gospel-style choir
– an intense appreciation for all those who have “paved the way” of peace and sustainability through their example; whose courageous trust in the power of value-driven collaboration fosters truly meaningful innovations
– paradigm-busting reflections on experiences of, and theories of, oppression
– the opportunity to share my own “UU elevator speech” with a Baptist Canadian wanting to know the difference between UU and “the religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”

Still to come is this year’s version of the parade of banners from all participating congregations – usually a joyful highlight of the ingathering ceremonies, during which the diversity within the UU Association is made visible and celebrated. With this year’s focus being not on “celebrating us”, but on “serving others”, the planning committee decided (among other things) to simplify that visual display.

I’ve been so impressed by the thoughtful attention planners have given to such details, and anticipate this General Assembly to be a real turning point in the “culture”, public prominence and relevance of this denomination.

I encourage you to avail yourselves of the resources you will find on the uua.org website, to learn about and engage more fully with this “living tradition” of Unitarian Universalism, of which you are (or could be) an integral part!

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