Rev. Stefanie's Blog

The following article was submitted today to the “In Theory” section of the local press (Valley Sun, Glendale News-Press and Burbank Leader), in response to a question regarding plans to increase security measures in several (dominantly muslim) countries.  The question being:  can this be considered racial profiling?

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We live in frightening times.  Times in which it is becoming increasingly difficult to take for granted our safety, and to anticipate the source, target, timing, or severity of extremist violence.

This is a time in which our commitment to freedom manifests increasingly through a demonstrated willingness to hand ours over to someone else.  When I travel, I work hard to set aside my personal objections to what I experience as dehumanizing violations of privacy – all for what I can only hope will be the sake of our collective well being.

As a Unitarian Universalist, I have an intense interest in supporting our collective goal of a free and peaceful world community.  At the same time, I am committed to protecting the worth and dignity of every individual, of respecting and appreciating our differences.

The latter goal makes abhorrent in my eyes the practice of singling out individuals based solely upon their appearance, their ethnicity, their name, their religious affiliations.  The former makes me willing to stand in those security lines through which all must pass.

Applying additional security measures to certain parts of the world, through which terrorists have been known to travel, is not the same thing as applying them to individuals.  The proposed security measures will be collective, not personal.  As such, I do not agree with Iftikhar that this constitutes a personal injustice.  At the same time, I urge caution:  given what we know of the extremist agenda, our security is unlikely to be guaranteed through any of these measures, alone.

The December holidays are fast approaching.  In fact, each year evidence of the  “countdown” seems to come earlier and earlier.  For some of us it’s a welcome focus – an opportunity to reconnect with familiar traditions, with friends and family, and with stories of hope and love.  For others this can be an uncomfortable time – filled with burdensome expectations regarding  the need to buy presents we can’t afford, to eat and drink to excess, and to suppress our experiences of loss, fear or pain.

Being aware of and sensitive to the fact that we don’t all experience the December holidays in the same way, and that this may be a particularly troublesome or lonely time for some, is one of the ways that we can live out our Unitarian Universalist Principles and values.

We can use this opportunity to cultivate or refine habits of hospitality, such as:  calling folks we haven’t seen in a while to let them know we’re thinking of them; sharing information about fun, inter-generational, low-cost social events; offering to run errands or provide rides to people who may have a hard time getting around; providing attractive, healthy, non-alcoholic refreshments when hosting an event; and stressing appreciation for generosity of spirit, over material generosity!

My own on-going commitment to hospitality involves growing in self-awareness regarding my own needs and preferences, and to not make assumptions about what other people need or want!

It’s humbling to find out how often “I get it wrong” when I do assume, and how much damage that can cause.   Much simpler and satisfying is the practice of remaining curious about my fellow human beings:  encouraging them to give expression to their needs and desires and, perhaps, finding “a fit”.  Something I can offer, that will be well placed and make a difference.

I am pleased to announce my acceptance of the offer to join the shared ministry of Unitarian Universalist Church of Verdugo Hills, beginning September 1st, as half-time Consulting Minister.  I look forward to meeting with and getting to know the folks there, and to working together on behalf of Unitarian Universalist identity and values.   My twice monthly on-site schedule will be  posted on this website’s Schedule page, as well as submitted to the congregation’s website (www.uuverdugo.org).

The following homily was presented at the San Fernando Valley Sub-Cluster Vespers Service on Wednesday, May 20, 2009.

Religious experiences come in many different shapes and sizes, affecting our sense of ourselves as empowered participants in the ever-unfolding drama of life.  My earliest such memories of awe and wonder were set in two radically different contexts.  One, under the starry expanse of the night sky – in which I was quickly overwhelmed by the vast expanse of creation and by the relative insignifance of my “petty concerns”.  The other such memory (a few years later) was set in the context of the worn red-velvet pews of St. Margaret’s Church:  waiting for my best friend to come out of the Confessional.

I wasn’t Catholic.  I didn’t understand what was going on in that box.  But I did notice how anticipation of it, and return from it affected my friend.  I noticed that on the way to mass she was quiet, pensive, weighted with the significance of all of her actions of the past week.  And by the time we left, that  she felt ready “to begin again.”  To “be a full participant,” as she said, in the “manifestation of God’s will on earth!”

I didn’t envy her hours of agonizing over whether punching her little brother was a mortal or a venial sin.  Or, her sometimes narcissistic paranoia that God was watching her every move, and reading her every thought.   But I was impressed that none of her concerns, none of her actions, were considered petty by her God.  That every single thing she did, every thought she had, was worthy of review. 

I was impressed that the act of Confession brought such relief:  an experience of being embraced in compassion, and even encouragement.  And that she never doubted her life as significant within God’s plan for all of creation.

Today’s Vesper theme involves a journey.  The need to look towards the future, to embrace a motivating vision of a “new world order”, if you will, and it involves movement toward that metaphorical “holy city on a hill”.  Making it a reality here on earth.

And I can’t help but think that before undertaking any journey a certain amount of reflection and planning must take place. Not only thinking about where you want to go, but why.  And what to pack. And that figuring out how to get there involves knowing where you’ve been.

On a personal level, it seemed to me that my friend, by engaging in the process of weekly confession, was doing all of this within the context of her religious community.  Each week she thought about what she’d done, the effects it had, and where that placed her (and all of creation) in relation to God’s will, and the future.

As Unitarian Universalists, personal confession is not a part of our institutionalized rituals.  It doesn’t come automatically to most us. Yes, we’re very good at noticing and questioning the “sins”/the injustices of our world.  We’re very good at coming up with creative solutions, and at rolling up our sleeves, putting our faith in action.  But, we don’t generally engage in a ritualized process of figuring out how our way of living and thinking may have contributed to those “sins”.

So let’s consider, for a moment, the impact of  going through this kind of process. 

On a national level:  we bear witness to the recent efforts of our President, Barack Obama, in trying to restore our moral leadership on the world stage, by openly acknowledging the transgressions of our country.  

Apparently, doing so had quite a positive reaction abroad.  It went a long way toward creating new paths of diplomacy.  Toward restoring this country’s reputation as a worthy global power.  

But here in the US many people were mortified that the leader of the free world would ever admit to our country having done something wrong.  This was read as a sign of weakness, of inexcusably revealed vulnerability rather than, as integrity.

My take on this is, that we no longer have “The Decider” as President.  We have a realist.  A person who’s willing to acknowledge where we’ve been as a country.  To confess, if you will, as a way to move forward along the path to reconciliation.

On a congregational level:  I’m aware of ongoing strategic planning processes in all of our congregations, as well as several other exciting new programs, such as the fledgling Addictions and Recovery Ministry in this district.

In each case, despite the enthusiasm by our congregations to move forward as fast as possible, each planning group has had to first come to terms with the ways in which our communities have, and have not, been well served.  And to take responsibility for that.  And to use that process as a map for the journey ahead.

This kind of inventory, of assessment and grappling with responsibility, is hard.  It takes discipline, trust and humility.

On a personal level:  I confess that I am an idealist.  I believe in the human capacity to reach for those starts that I found so intimidating as a child.  I believe that we can cure at least a goodly portion of the multitude of global social ills.  If not within our lifetime, then perhaps within the next.

But I’m also a realist.  I know that human beings have limitations.  We can’t do it all/know it all, no matter how noble the intentions:  whether they be part of God’s plan, or not.   We don’t always choose wisely.  We make mistakes, and sometimes we even do things we know we shouldn’t. 

And I believe we need to own up to that.  And forgive ourselves for that. 

It is here, I believe, where any worthy journey must start.  Why?  Because I’m convinced that the process of taking inventory, of confessing shortcomings, and of forgiveness, brings us that much closer to the metaphorical “City on a Hill.”  It helps us forge new paths and serves as constant reminder of our value as empowered participants in the ever-unfolding drama of life.

So, as we hear the reflections presented tonight, and find ourselves getting excited about all the possibilities of this journey we are on together:  I urge you to consider what it will take to make you ready “to begin again”.   May a personal inventory and the embrace of compassion and encouragement, be part of our shared journey.  So may it be.  Amen.

The Sepulveda UU Society is putting together a “This I Believe” booklet, inviting members to share some of their thoughts.  Here’s what I submitted today:

 I believe that the religious impulse lies deep within each and every one of us, and that most of us spend our lives searching for a “language”, a belief system, a religion, a philosophy – that will satisfy our need to give expression to that impulse. 

 What we generally don’t realize is that our lived lives, in all their ambiguity, are a language we would do well to pay attention to! 

 If we take the time to reflect deeply upon our presence in the world and impact upon one another, what might we discover – what might we change, or celebrate? 

 Every moment of our lives affords an opportunity to nourish love, joy, beauty and justice.  Every moment has within it seeds of truth and meaning.  Every moment is graced with freedom – the kind that encourages us to take risks, to question, to stumble and pick ourselves up again.

 What we’re looking for is not all that elusive!  It’s embedded within our lived lives, our daily choices, constantly giving expression to our deepest yearnings.   

And it is well worth it for each of us to take the time, alone and in community, to listen to what our lives saying…! 

In an effort to better serve the San Fernando Valley Cluster of UU congregations (North Hills, Verdugo Hills, Studio City, Santa Clarita, Canoga Park) and to make good use of funds accumulated through the quarterly Vespers Service, the ministers of this cluster recently created the position of Valley Cluster Minister-At-Large.

I am thrilled to announce my acceptance of that position, which will focus on supporting UU Identity, lay leadership, and inter-congregational programming.  

Some of the initial hopes are to: form a committee of lay leaders from the five cluster congregations to survey the needs of those congregations and to create programs addressing those needs; to identify opportunities for cluster congregations to coordinate their activities and to support each other whenever possible; to create a monthly cluster email newletter, a calendar and website;  help coordinate the planning & publicity of quarterly Vespers Services;  to help organize the annual cluster weekend at deBenneville Pines; to help develop funding.  

I am so looking forward to getting to know our area lay leaders and to help build connections within, and hopefully beyond, our UU community.  Updates will be posted as this process gets underway.

This month’s journey to Australia was my “invisible gift” to my beloved, who wanted no tangible thing for his 50^th.  His yearning was to be in the presence of long-lost family.   It’s a long story and not mine to tell.

 My own impressions of Australia are eucalyptus scented, dappled with the wavy lines and little dots displayed in souvenir shops on mugs and t-shirts, boomerangs and mouse-pads, as aboriginal in origin (though frequently manufactured in China).  

As I came to learn, the wavy lines and little dots are “dreamings” – ancient maps of the journeys of the ancestors.  As they went on “walkabout” the ancestors sang into existence each living thing, each feature of the landscape, including those through which they themselves entered and left the land. 

 The songs have been sung for thousands of years, inherited whenever a child “quickened” – first moved in its mother’s belly.  The place where she stood in that moment became forever the place where the song rose to sing into being the child!  And the child became the inheritor of that song, of the ancestor’s journey, and therefore of the landscape and the creatures upon it. 

 And since the ancestors had made many journeys across the land, there were many intersections of song and of responsibility for its renewal.

 After reading this in a book I picked up along the way, the visual patterns of those songs, the wavy lines and little dots I’d seen in the souvenir shops, began to superimpose themselves upon the landscape through which I moved as a visitor, creating a densely woven web of beauty and purpose. 

 To know oneself as keeper of the song, keeper of the dreaming, keeper of the land, from the moment of one’s own quickening…what an inheritance that must be!

 During a long drive along the southern coast road, west of Melbourne, I realized that I had received the same inheritance through the teachings of Christianity.  The primary difference was that recognizing and owning the inheritance involved a journey through the terrain of the trinity, complicated by creed carved in stone, the rubble of insurrection and resurrection.  This Christian landscape I discovered I could not navigate. 

 For many years thereafter I wandered alone, until I heard a different kind of song.  One upon which I journey still.

 As koalas perched in the forks of eucalyptus trees gave way to the wide expanse of blue-green ocean, the tour guide called our attention to where we were.  “Look out the window and notice your identity”, he said.  

 It seemed an odd turn of a phrase.  I thought he must have misspoken.  But he used that same word: “identity”, again and again, to situate us within the landscape.  When asked about this, the guide seemed perplexed – unaware that he had said anything unusual, but acknowledging that he might have picked up that phraseology as a child, living in a remote aboriginal community.

 So, identity was synonymous with location!  It made sense.  An aboriginal child’s identity was forever linked with the location of its quickening, the place in which the spirit of life leapt into it as a song, as a dreaming.  

Why shouldn’t our own identities be linked with the places in which our spirits are renewed?!

 I am home now.  Grateful for the journey which continues now on familiar soil, my thoughts are drawn to other places in which I have heard the song/seen the dreaming, in which I have felt the spirit of life enter me. 

 I recall the places that have filled my life with beauty and purpose, and know that I am indeed keeper of that landscape, that inheritance, and that I cannot travel it alone.  For it clearly intersects with yours.

 So here I stand – asking if you will sing it into renewed existence with me.  

Keeping in your heart all that has perished in the eucalyptus-fed flames this past week.  May life arise again from those ashes.

Just came back from Tucson, Arizona, where I had been invited to lead worship on Sunday 01/18, and then to guide the congregation through a covenant of right relations workshop.

The entire  weekend was exciting, challenging, beauty- and grace-filled.  Two wonderful women, strangers, opened their home to me; worship was enlivened through music, welcoming smiles and the presence of a colleague for whom I have deep respect; and the afternoon workshop brought to life the very heart of the message shared earlier:  a message of the importance of trust, of speaking one’s truth in love, of a well-articulated common purpose and the value of each individual in the creation of communities of caring mutuality.

It was a message acknowledging that while this is not an easy process, it is necessary in so many ways – personally, within our congregations, and within this nation.

This morning, after bearing witness on TV to the inauguration of our new President, I wiped away my tears and took the dogs for their walk, replaying in mind the inauguration speech – marveling at a presidential message that could easily have been given from any Unitarian Universalist pulpit.  

And, hoping that the accompanying prayer by Pastor Rick Warren can be recognized by  “liberals” (or “unbelievers”) as evidence of our President’s commitment to equality; to creating opportunities for the expression of differences – with a larger goal of dissolving divisive polarization and fostering cooperative unity.  That’s my hope.

The sermon presented on Sunday has been submitted to the Inauguration 2009 Sermons and Orations Project of the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress.  It is posted on the “Sermon” page of this blog.  Your reflections are welcome!

The results of our recent election left me riding waves of ecstatic hopefulness by virtue of the election of a president I believe has what it takes to lead this country in justice.   But those waves were interspersed with much larger waves of frustration and anger by virtue of all those in California who voted in favor of Proposition 8 – a position denying equal civil rights to gays and lesbians seeking to solidify their loving unions through legal marriage.  

Those larger waves have a strong undertow.  And it’s been hard to stay focused on how much headway has been made these past months on this issue. To roll up my shirt sleeves and get back in the fight. But that’s what I’m doing now.

Among other things, I’ve decided it’s time to stop serving as “government endorsed wedding officiant”.   Initially, this decision was based in a desire to take a stand on behalf of justice:  until all couples seeking legal recognition of their unions (as marriages) were granted that right and responsibility, I would not sign off on wedding licenses.  

However, the issue has since broaded for me into one about the separation of church and state, and I no longer feel it appropriate to serve as representative of the state when obliged to say:  “by the power vested in me by the state of California, I hereby pronounce you…”  I am first and foremost a minister, called to encourage, guide, witness and celebrate the human spiritual journey grounded in love – not to put my seal on a government issued license.  

So, this is to make known that I will continue to offer religious and spiritual wedding ceremonies to celebrate the love and commitment that makes up the core of what is called “marriage”, but will not be signing off on wedding licenses.

While I recognize that my decision may be an inconvenience to those would have wished to have their wedding license endorsed by their ceremony officiant, it is my hope that it will spark greater understanding of the issues and commitment to justice and equity.  

Above all, it is my hope that I will have the ongoing privilege of celebrating unions of love, and that legal recognition of all those unions will soon become universal.

Swimming on,

Rev. Stefanie

A long time ago sometime told me to “hope for the best, expect the worst, and with any luck, you’ll wind up in-between”.  It seemed at the time like a reasonable way to approach life’s hills and valleys, though since then there has been much public affirmation of the idea that our expectations often manifest themselves.  (The take-home message being:  don’t even THINK about anything less than the ideal outcome, because you’ll be setting yourself up for some bad news!)  

Seven years ago, guided by that first piece of advice, I began the long, formal journey toward Unitarian Universalist ministry.  During those years I learned the wisdom of keeping my head down, taking things “one step at a time”; slowing down the pace; stopping to rest and even backtrack a bit when necessary.  Can’t say that I ever got out of the habit of focusing on the hope, rather than the expectation – but there were lots of folks who did lift up for me their own high expectations.

And that’s what I thought of this week, when I opened my letter from the MFC and saw that Final Fellowship had been granted.  Don’t know that I ever allowed myself to truly believe it would happen.  In that moment, I felt the presence of every single person who bore witness to this journey, who encouraged and celebrated, critiqued and questioned – every single person, who kept before me the vision that I couldn’t see while carefully monitoring the placement of my steps! 

So maybe it’s not just a matter of keeping our expectations for our own lives “high”.  Maybe what’s really important, is that others care enough to lift up their own on our behalf.

In gratitude and awe for this journey and for all who helped shape it,

Rev. Stefanie