There’s No Place Like Home

Some days have now passed and I am heartened to note that I was not the only one disturbed by the many raucous public celebrations of Osama bin Laden’s death.  This gives me hope, and the space to reflect more deeply on my own initial response.

It was so disheartening to be reminded, Sunday night, of those aspects of human nature that are “coarse”.  I saw mirrored in Sunday night’s collective, vengeful, jubilation, the same stuff I saw amidst the crowds gathered almost ten years ago, half a world away, when my home-town lay blanketed in the dust of thousands.

I was as horrified and deeply saddened this past Sunday, as I was back then.  And in both instances those reactions quickly took the shape of judgment (which feels much better than shock or grief or fear).

But over the past two days it has been becoming increasingly evident to me that judgment is, in and of itself, a kind of – bear with me – violence.

Far too often judgment does manifest externally, resulting in flames and ashes, wounds of the flesh, and the sense (right or wrong) of “justice accomplished”. (The kind of thing you can count on seeing, over and over again, on Fox news.)

But often it remains unseen, hovering around us like a cloud of distraction, giving rise to all sorts of physical ailments (sleeplessness, headaches, ulcers) on its way to infiltrating and hardening our hearts and minds with angry self-righteousness.

And that’s what I’ve been experiencing these last few days.

As I sat in judgment of those, Sunday night, whose celebrations were an expression of their own judgments of a people who feel they have cause to judge this country – I was caught up in the violence!

And violence is part of human nature.

And it’s so hard to be reminded of that in others and in ourselves.  And, to keep our sights on that part of human nature which allows us to temper the urge to celebrate an enemy’s death, or condemn those who do.

It’s hard!  But that ability is also part of human nature.

And it’s one I recommit myself to today.

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Ding-Dong the Witch Is Dead

Even as a child I knew there was something ethically discordant about displays of jubilation in response to the news of someone’s death – even someone as wicked as “the Wicked Witch of the East”.

I moved my chair closer to the screen every time Dorothy made her miraculous appearance in Muchkinland, intently studying the homes, faces, clothes, gestures of its inhabitants.  They seemed so orderly, so tuned into beauty and whimsy and gentle co-existence.

And yet, they rejoiced boldly at the sight of a crushed body.

“Ding-dong, the witch is dead” they sang, skipping through the streets.  They recited poetry in honor of the girl who happened to be in the house that happened to fall from the sky.  They presented her with gifts and honors.

“She must have been a very bad witch”, I thought, sadly.   And I wanted to know what she had done to them, how she had hurt them.  Moreso. I wanted to know what drove her to inspire their fear, their hatred, and vengeful jubilation.   Why was she this way?

And I was sad for all of them.

As Dorothy made her way down the yellow brick road with all the inhabitants of Munchkin City cheering and waving her on, celebrating that glorious day of bloodshed, my spirit wept.

As it does today.

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As Japan Trembles…

Today an earthquake registered as 8.9 on the Richter scale (apparently 3,000 times as forceful as the one experienced Northridge, CA some years back) devastated Japan – affecting hundreds of thousands of people, wiping out entire communities, compromising nuclear power stations, causing tszunami evacuations in cities on both sides of the Pacific Ocean.

The destruction is horrific, and no less so by virtue of the distance, the barriers, of ocean, language, and culture between “us” and them”.

The personal, societal, environmental repercussions are yet to be known and integrated into our understandings of reality – of this world so powerful, so mysterious and yet fragile.

We think ourselves on “firm ground”.  And yet this is, at any given moment, an illusion.

In response to the trembling of Japan, my own heart trembles, certain of only “one firm thing”:  the ability within us to access love in response to tragedy; love in response to loss and fear; love in response to life’s expected and unexpected violences.

So let us access love.  Right here, right now.

Join me, please.  Reach out in your thougthts and prayers to your brothers and sisters in Japan.  In Libyia.  In cities and homes around the world.  Relief efforts are already being organized by the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee and the American Red Cross.

Let love be your guide

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Owning Mardi Gras

I am not a saint.

And yet I go marching, joining the ranks of those

skipping and swaying amidst feathers, beads and glistening limbs

down streets, slick with dreams, tattered and torn.

I am not a saint.

And yet, each year, wearing a mask

that can at least be recognized as one,

I take to the streets

and I dance.

Giddy, with the beat of drums,

of blood flowing in my veins,

amazed, that I am actually still here,

I fling into the sky rage, grief, and helplessness

I howl.

And hurl myself into that pulsing sea of humanity.

For there, only there, can I

forgive myself; find myself; know that

I am not alone.

And that saints are few.

And that my sights need to be

set a little lower.  I am not a saint, but I am here.

And I will march – I will dance.

I will howl, and hurl to the heavens anything

that keeps me from being

fully alive

(Stefanie Etzbach-Dale, 2011)

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Friends=Angels Poem

Friends are like angels.  They appear in the least expected places, in the most critical moments: bearing witness to the full breadth of our oh-so human fumblings;  sheltering us beneath the feathers of their faith in us;  casting a gentle light into the darkness of our soul-wrenching doubts.   Friends are like angels – ready at a moment’s notice  to “soar into the heavens” of our delight when, inspired by love, by beauty, joy or hope, we take flight. Friends are like angels.  They are reflections of  our yearnings that, somehow, always manage to surprise us.  Always manage to bring out the best in us.  Especially when we discover, as we invariably do, that they are actually “human”.  And that they need us – as much as we need them.  (That’s when we become angels.)

Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale, 02/06/11


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Rape, Incest & Misogyny

So, it seems that those who insist abortion is nothing more or less than a sinful act against God have found another way to deny the right of that medical procedure to even more girls and women.  If passed, a new bill co-sponsored by 154 Republicans and 10 Democrats will affect the most vulnerable among them – the thousands of girls and women who become pregnant as a result of rape or incest.

No victims of incest over the age of 18 will have access to federal funds for this medical procedure.  No victims of rape will have access to federal funds for this medical procedure, unless they can prove that the rape was “forcible”.

What?  Isn’t “force” implied in the definition of rape?

Well, apparently not.  With this bill, it’s not enough to say that the sexual act was non-consensual because you were given a date-rape drug.  It’s not enough to say that you were blackmailed or otherwise made to submit against your will.  It’s not enough to say that your age or mental health status made it impossible for you to have control in that situation.

So, in addition to suffering the invasive violence of non-consensual sex with its resultant emotional scars, girls and women who seek medical attention to determine whether they have been infected with HIV or to end the pregnancy that was never sought, will not have access to Medicaid.

The re-defining of rape will subject thousands of girls and women victimized by the misogynistic abuse of power that results in non-consensual sex to suffer even further the indignities of interrogation, discrimination and financial stress.

In this day and age?  In this country?

Well, democratic process does allow all sorts of perspectives to influence our lives.  And I do celebrate the freedoms of democracy.  But when they seek to victimize the most vulnerable among us in the name of religion, I can’t help but look around me in search of those who find this morally unacceptable.

If you’re out there, please, use your freedom to stand in solidarity with girls and women victimized by misogyny.   Use your freedom to let them know that their lives matter.

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PSWD District Assembly Workshop

This year District Assembly will be held at the Neighborhood UU Church in Pasadena May 20-21, 2011. It’s a great chance to meet with Unitarian Universalists from California, Arizona & Nevada – to share worship and resources, to learn and grow together.

The 1-hour workshop I will be offering will be based upon my book of the same name, which I hope to have available by then for sale!  Here’s the ambitious workshop description:

THE RELUCTANT ACTIVIST:  A Compassionate Guide to Making a Difference

Many of us are acutely aware of imbalance in the world and of our responsibility to make a difference – yet can’t figure out how to do that in a way that feels authentic, meaningful and sustainable.  This empowering workshop gently invites “reluctant activists” to acknowledge the complexity of issues in need of care, to bring compassion to themselves within this context, and to connect with their unique and empowering values, gifts and abilities to “make a difference”.

Hope to see you there!


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My Books Due Spring 2011!

My first book, From Headlines to Heartlines, contains a series of reflections on current events, from a Unitarian Universalist perspective – everything from clergy sexual abuse to immigration reform, the presidential inauguration to “don’t ask don’t tell”…  The intent is to draw attention to the inseparable link between personal religious values and the way we experience and respond to the world.

The second book, The Reluctant Activist:  A Compassionate Guide to Making a Difference, is drawn from the series of workshops I presented at PSWIRL this past summer.  It is geared toward those who may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility to make a difference in the world, especially while attempting to balance changes in their personal lives (time, finances, physical abilities, etc.) – offering insight into and encouragement towards authentic, meaningful, sustainable activism.  The net proceeds of this book will be donated in equal parts to Camp deBenneville Pines and the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee.

Both books have been compiled with the extraordinary efforts of Inge Etzbach, my mother, and the support of my muse, George Dale, and should be available Spring 2011.

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

On Being All You Can Be, Even in the Military:

The drive to serve in our military is a complex one.  Whether that drive be grounded in an unadulterated desire to give back to this Nation, to continue a family legacy of service, or to expand one’s opportunities for education and travel, it always involves sacrifice.

Military service involves learning how to subjugate one’s personal identity to a national identity.  It involves adhering to strict codes of conduct and appearance.

For so many it involves long periods of separation from loved ones, uncertainty, violence, emotional and/or physical pain and loss.  It involves close acquaintance with the best and worst of human potential.

And, with mortality.

From what I’ve been told, by those who have served, it is a worthy sacrifice – even in its most terrible permutations.

And the courage to embrace it was most often found not in the emblems one would expect (the American flag or the eagle), but in the patch bearing one’s name.  The photographs of one’s loved ones.  The memories of the freedoms one seeks to protect, and to which one hopes to return.  The trust, respect, and loyalty of those who, like you, yearn to be all they can be.

I’ve heard about the powerful, incomparable, essential bonds created between soldiers.  And I’ve heard that the intimacy of life “in the trenches” can raise tensions between those of different races, genders, sexual orientations – and that these can get in the way of doing what must be done.

But I’ve also heard that “that’s bunk”.  That, through the years, soldiers have learned to overcome their misconceptions, their prejudices, enough to share the claim to survival and honor with people they might never have chosen to know in civilian life.  And if that isn’t “being all you can be”, than what is?

At certain points in American history the military segregated whites from blacks and men from women, because those “visible” differences were thought dangerous and insurmountable.

Since then, the military has long been segregated into those who are empowered to speak freely about the loved ones for whom they sacrifice, and those who aren’t.

If we are to believe that soldiers should have at their disposal all possible sources of courage, so that they might serve with honor and take their places once again in civilian life, and that the military actually stands behind it’s slogan that soldiers should be all they can be – then clearly such an imposed sacrifice is grossly misplaced.

With anticipation and gratitude for a united commitment to the fullness of human potential,

Rev. Stefanie

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WINTER HOLIDAY BLESSING

May we receive, and grateful hold

the season as it does unfold!

The colors, lights and stories shared

the hope and love that is declared!

May we receive, and freely share

the joy of love and heartfelt care

Expressed in oh-so-many ways,

Through these, our winter holidays!

(The Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale, 2010)

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