Rev. Stefanie's Blog

The following response was submitted to and printed in the La Canada Sun, The Glendale Press and the Burbank Leader the week of March 22nd, in response to the question:  If you had a chance to attend a summit on HIV/AIDS, what ideas would you offer to strengthen the voice and action of religious leaders and bring about collaboration among the different faiths with other sectors involved in the response to HIV/AIDS?

First, it is important to mention that my own faith tradition does not lift up “divine retribution” as the cause of human illness or suffering.  Such a perspective leads too easily to self-righteous judgment of the afflicted and an unwillingness to seek solutions to humanity’s many ailments.  It also encourages those already burdened by poverty or disease to be further disempowered by guilt and shame.

What Unitarian Universalism does promote is a responsibility:  1. to learn as much as possible about the ways in which we humans cause or contribute to suffering, so that we have a better sense of how to prevent & ease it;  2. to link that knowledge with love and compassion, with personal commitment to justice, equity, and the inherent worth and dignity of all people.

As this applies to HIV/AIDS, Unitarian Universalist congregations are great supporters of a value-based, age-appropriate human sexuality education program.  The curricula is organized into six age groups, ranging from grade K-1 through adulthood, so that the information grows with the growth of the individual’s mind, body and spirit.

Surprising to me is how many adults lightheartedly enter this program believing that they would learn nothing new.  More often than not, they complete the program with a whole new appreciation for ongoing education in this arena, as well as with a much better ability to make healthy choices and to initiate helpful conversations with their children.

Some of the other ways that our congregations seek to support individuals and families who have or may become affected by HIV/AIDS is by providing information regarding other local resources for wellness, such as testing and needle-exchange programs; through legislative involvement; and through ongoing affirmation of our ability and responsibility to make choices that are grounded in our religious values.

The challenge of human illness or suffering is a universal one.  While we could spend our time arguing the role of God’s will in all of this, wouldn’t it make it more sense to focus on the ways in which our religious traditions empower us to live long, healthy, and truly loving lives?

The Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale

Unitarian Universalist Church of Verdugo Hills, La Crescenta, CA

Below is my response, printed this week in the Glendale Sun, La Canada Valley News Press and Burbank Leader, to the question:  What is, in your opinion, the definition of a miracle? What does your religion teach about miracles? And have you ever been witness to one?

As creatures prone to examine, to try to make sense of, and even to direct the events of our lives, stories of miracles can carry a particular appeal.

In times of distress, when we feel that the reach of our own influence has been exhausted, it can be comforting to lift up the possibility of a Divinely-inspired, personally beneficial “happy ending”. That possibility can help us feel less vulnerable, to hang in there, and maybe even tap into creativity or courage we didn’t know we still had within us!

When we feel our own lives touched by experiences we describe as miraculous (regardless of others’ thoughts on the matter), it is not uncommon to feel humbled and inspired with awe and gratitude – to integrate that experience into renewed commitments towards lives of integrity, generosity and kindness.

Miracle stories can enrich and empower our lives with hope.  And, when we feel ourselves the beneficiaries of the “miraculous”, we are encouraged with a sense of our own deep worth.  For many people that kind of affirmation, in a society known to value individuals primarily for purchasing power or good looks, is the only thing that gives them the strength to go on.

The flipside of some of those miracle stories is that they can lead to the divisive idea that some individuals or groups are more worthy than others; that we can know and count on Divine will, or at least bargain with it.

As for me, I am content to call miraculous the annual greening of our hillsides!

I call miraculous the courage and patience mustered up by those who care for their children and their aging elders, while facing their own uncertain future.  I call miraculous the willingness of so many to take a stand on behalf of human equity, worth and dignity; to say no to poverty, racism, homophobia and other debilitating manifestations of fear.  I call miraculous the ability to see preciousness within one another no matter our differences.  And, to trust our ability to heal one another’s wounds.

These are the miracles to which I have been witness, and which give me hope.

The Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale

Unitarian Universalist Church of Verdugo Hills, La Crescenta, CA

The following response was submitted to and printed in the La Canada Sun, The Glendale Press and the Burbank Leader the week of March 8th, in response to the question:  how important do you believe it is for brothers and sisters of other faith traditions to work together for unity? How does an open dialogue between faith traditions manifest itself in your particular faith?

Picture this:  a full moon glows in the night sky, bathing the earth with it’s gentle light.  A farmer returning home after a long day of tending crops carries with him a bucket of water in which the moon’s reflection quivers.  He stops to admire it and to drink from the water, thinking himself quite special for having been chosen as the moon’s porter.  His steps quicken and soon his path crosses that of a neighbor entranced by the image shining up at him from his own bucket.

Curious, the first man enquires as to the object in his neighbor’s bucket and a heated argument ensues:  each man believes himself the sole bearer of the moon! They begin to shout and push at each other – until they notice that both buckets have been overturned.  The only moon then to be seen is the one to which they, together, lift their eyes – as they stand side by side the in road of their homeward journeys.

This story was told to me years ago, as I struggled with the fact of religious pluralism, and with growing awareness of how many beautiful, righteous ideals are overturned through our shortsightedness, our vanity, and greed.

For those fortunate enough to experience holding and carrying something so great as even a bucketful of the light of Ultimate Reality (that which many call God’s grace) it can be tempting to become possessive.  It can be tempting to believe that this vision constitutes the fullness of reality and to challenge another’s claim to it

As a Unitarian Universalist, I believe that we are equally bathed in the gentle light of one loving Source – and that Its immense and incomprehensible nature causes many of us to focus our attention upon portable reflections of it (otherwise known as theological worldviews).

Problems arise when we become possessive of that which we see – believing that it is the whole Truth.  To me it seems not only logical, but urgent, that we use every opportunity our own homeward journeys afford us – to look for, learn from and celebrate God’s Light  – wherever upon this earth it may be reflected!

The Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale

Unitarian Universalist Church of Verdugo Hills, La Crescenta, CA

The following was submitted for publication in the “In Theory” section of  the Burbank Leader, La Canada Valley Press and Glendale NewsPress, the week of March 1, 2010, in response to a situation in which a court determined that a child should be raised in one religious tradition only.  The question was: Should the courts be dictating what religion parents should teach their children? Did they go too far in this case? Should this be something private, something that only the parents should decide among themselves without the court’s influence?

Many parents believe that the greatest gift they can ever pass on to their children is the gift of religious identity – often their own.  For interfaith couples that gift can be a matter of exposing their children to the values and traditions of both religions, trusting that they will ultimately choose for themselves; or by agreeing to focus on fostering a single religious identity.

In the example given, the latter agreement was apparently made by both parents and subsequently broken by one of them.  Courts are empowered to enforce all sorts of personal agreements made between individuals (as long as they aren’t contrary to public policy).  As such, the court’s ruling here seems legally appropriate – even if unfortunate. I can’t think of a better way to assure that a child grows up with a deep-seated resentment of religion (and authority in general), than religious strife among parents.

From a Unitarian Universalist perspective, children are best served when their parents’ actions are grounded in the highest ideals of their own faith traditions – whatever they may be.  The particulars aren’t nearly as important as that the child bear witness to the parents’ capacity to respect difference, to love unconditionally, and to be committed to peace.  It also helps when parents remember that children are destined to grow into, and be stewards of, their own spiritual journey.

On the upside:  it is fortunate that we are no longer subject to court decisions like those made in the days of Solomon – when disputes regarding children were likely to result in each side being granted rights over one “half” of the child.  At least in the example cited here the child’s life is spared.  It remains to be seen what becomes of her religious identity.

The Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale

Unitarian Universalist Church of Verdugo Hills, La Crescenta, CA

The following response was submitted to the La Cañada Valley Sun, Glendale News-Press and Burbank Leader for publication during the week of February 22nd.  The question was:   Do you think there is any danger in the Dali Lama appearing with a rock star (Sheryl Crow)? Could his appearance, in some ways, commercialize or, perhaps, even diminish his message?

Those who might think his message diminished through association with politicians and rock stars don’t understand the message!

The Dalai Lama’s message, while out of necessity focused for a long time on the plight of the Tibetan people under the rule of China, has always been a universal one:  love, compassion, peace, moderation.

Historically, that message has been slow to sink in.  It requires that we give up attachment to our individual desires and preferences; that we give up the domination and abuse of other sentient beings; that we commit our lives to the protection of life in all its forms.

I seem to recall stories of another religious leader, named Jesus, attempting to get that message across as well.  In order to do so, he didn’t speak only to other religious leaders.  He brought it to the “common people”:  to tax collectors and prostitutes.  (It’s not far-fetched to imagine that he dallied also with musicians.)

Two thousand years later that tactic is lauded, even by those who don’t live by his words or deeds, as “brilliant marketing”.

The Dali Lama is part of a religious tradition that often uses surprising methods to get folks to “wake up” to reality.  While at the White House he, an “internationally respected religious leader”, threw a snowball at reporters in order to get their attention – to get them to take seriously their ability to inform and influence public opinion by presenting him with truly meaningful questions.

It remains to be seen whether his association with Sheryl Crow inspires a mass awakening to the reality of our underlying unity, and to the urgent need for a flowering of love and compassion in our hearts.

But I, for one, am so grateful that he is among us.  (And wonder if he and Ms. Crow would be interested in paying a visit to La Crescenta sometime in the near future?)

The Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale

Unitarian Universalist Church of Verdugo Hills, La Crescenta, CA

The following response regarding my thoughts on the Olympics was submitted for publication the week of February 15th in the local press:  Burbank, La Canada, Sun Valley

As an introvert who prefers the comfort of a cozy dinner with friends to the cacophony of a stadium filled with zealous sports fans, I’ve always had a hard time relating to all the hubbub around professional sports.  And then there’s all the time and money that goes into ever refining and exaggerating the capabilities of human bodies which, while intriguing and even awe-inspiring, are an unrealistic goal for the rest of us mere mortals.

With that said, it’s hard not to get excited about the Olympics!  Where else do we see such a willingness to look beyond the differences of nationality, religion and politics, toward an ideal of human perfection, if not improvement?

And while that perfection may seem to be overly involved with worldly concerns (physical performance), let us not forget that performing and competing on the Olympic level requires tremendous mental, emotional and spiritual concentration.  It takes sacrifice, and sometimes  (as we saw this week) that sacrifice is extreme.

It’s clear that performance on the Olympic level wouldn’t be possible for any one of the athletes currently “going for the gold” without the presence and support of the countless individuals behind the scenes or in the bleachers, who serve as role models, trainers, financial backers, promoters, spectators or fans.

As far as I’m concerned, that’s reason enough to allow myself to get swept up in the hubbub – because I welcome reminders of our common humanity, our interdependence, and our ability to surprise even ourselves.

The Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale

Unitarian Universalist Church of Verdugo Hills, La Crescenta, CA

The following was written in response to a question regarding faith leaders’ positions on the Ugandan Bill punishing homosexual acts and a recent 17-church prayer/protest event. (Published in the In Theory section of the Feb. 11 to 13, 2010 issues of the La Cañada Valley Sun, Glendale News-Press and Burbank Leader.)

The Ugandan bill focusing on homosexuality as a punishable crime is yet another sign of how much fear and violence yet rule the heart of humanity, and how misguided it is to believe that our own nation’s slow crawl toward equality and justice is a “done deal” – or a universal goal.

As for the prayer event, I wish I could have been there!  Not so much because I’m convinced that it will directly alter the Ugandan legal system, but because:  1. joining together with others committed to the higher principles of love, compassion, and equity, can be a personally transformative and healing experience, and 2. can draw public attention to dangerous judicial trends with which people of conscience the world over would do well to actively engage.

What higher purpose is served if our hopes and prayers, if our individual or collective efforts, embrace only the humanity of those closest to us or most like us?  The Unitarian Universalist Principles affirming the inherent worth and dignity of all people, and our responsibility to one another, call us to ever widen the circles of our care.

Doing that involves, among other things, knowing what the issues are:  where intolerance and the abuse of power overshadow the light of underlying human unity and worth.  And it involves taking a stand in whatever ways we can on behalf of justice, equity and compassion.

As such, and given how many have come in recent years to distrust religious communities as harbingers of hateful violence, I celebrate the Glendale Seventh-Day Adventist Church and all those across the country who organized, participated in, and supported this event demonstrating and promoting the life- and love-affirming potential of our religious communities.

I hold in my prayers all the people of Uganda:  those who suffer from unjust laws, as well as those who feel compelled to make and enforce them.

The following was submitted to the local press in response to a question regarding CBS rejecting a Superbowl Sunday ad for a gay dating service: is this discrimination?

The issue of whether or not this rejection of a gay dating-service advertisement constitutes discrimination is best determined by those with legal training and access to details regarding the network’s history of standards and practices and the quantifiable issues at hand (Ex:  precedent, available time slots, financial considerations, program focus, etc.)

With that said, it’s easy enough (even for peripheral sports fans like myself) to pick up on the fact that there is a strong history of sexualized content on Superbowl Sunday, and that this content is heterosexist in nature.

The religious principles by which I am guided advocate foremost for public and private practices valuing the existence, worth, and dignity of all people – including the hundreds of thousands of gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual athletes and sports fans who will be watching (wallets at hand).

Those same religious principles also guide me to believe that the issue doesn’t and shouldn’t end there.  As a human family we’d be well served to:  1. collectively examine the ways in which our society uses/abuses human sexuality in general to promote commercial interests, and 2. to work towards the eradication of unrealistic, harmful gender and sex stereotypes wherever they may appear.

The following response was submitted to the local press this week in response to a question regarding the validity of some religious leaders claiming the earthquake in Haiti was a punishment from God:

No.  I do not believe that the earthquake in Haiti was a punishment from God.  Nor do I believe that Hurricane Katrina was a punishment from God.  Nor do I believe that Aids or Swine Flu are punishments from God.

The God of my Universalist ancestors was understood to be a loving, creative God – not a God of vengeance and violence. It is enraging to hear that some would add ‘insult to injury’ by heaping the burden of Divine dissatisfaction upon the wounds and sorrows of people already disastrously displaced.

Aside from being cruel, insensitive and unhelpful, such accusations make me wonder about the role of humility in our religious traditions.  Are we really so “in tune” that we can be certain of God’s existence, will and reasoning?  Are we really so mean-spirited that we would compound another’s sufferings with these self-serving “insights”?

It seems to me that we would do well to set aside such conjecture and turn our attentions instead to the sufferings that we are empowered to ease.  Let’s focus on that, shall we?

This week’s submission to the local press is in response to a question regarding Pope Benedict’s planned visit to a synagogue and the controversy regarding his attempts to canonize WW II’s Pope Pius:  is the criticism justified?

The challenge of aligning our actions with our highest values is a universal one, and it has given shape and texture to human history.  During the caustic days of national socialism many, many individuals and entities (religious and secular) fell horribly short of such alignment.  Even God is accused by some of having done so.

It seems to me that only Catholics can judge the meaning and process of canonization, since sainthood is unique to Catholicism.  From my own perspective as a Unitarian Universalist, what seems important to emphasize in striving toward our highest potential as ethical beings, is the willingness to acknowledge those places in which we have fallen short (individually and collectively), and to take personal steps toward healing, reconciliation, justice and equity.

So, while I cannot and will not judge Pope Pius’ (or anyone else’s) credentials for sainthood, I can laud Pope Benedict’s efforts to reach out to the Jewish community of today in that spirit – publicly modeling commitment to that which unites us, rather than that which divides us.